Jack Sparrow, now an arts dealer?!

Can't remember when last I laughed so hard! Now I have a bad habit when it comes to movies, I only watch a movie once! Its true, believe me, and you can ask those who know me! Its how I am wired! Strange right?! What is worse are the films I have downloaded, I simply watch and then delete, CHIKENA! But I leave some exceptional ones to stray around my PC so that I can always come back to watch again and again again...I simply call these movies my classics! And  the movie Mortdecai starring Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan Mcgregor as lead characters have won their way into the loving arms of my heaven!

The story actually revolves around a painting that is said to be of unmeasurable worth which goes missing after when the last person that possessed it was murdered. The mystery of this painting attracts the attention of the crown and a host of other characters who would go to any length to acquire it.

Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is an arts dealer who is on the brink of going bankrupt, owing the British government as a result of a huge backlog of unpaid taxes, so he and his beautiful wife Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow) put up most of their most priceless possessions for sale so they can maintain their bourgeois lifestyle. Mortdecai is brought in as a consultant in the theft and murder case by Inspector Alistair Martland (Ewan Mcgregor) of the Mi5, who also has a huge crush for Joanna since their school days in Oxford, to help in getting back the painting before it gets into the wrong hands. But Mortdecai is also seen as a prime suspect in the missing painting thereby putting him in the line of danger with Russians and a French criminal. With the help of his wife Joanna, and his manservant/thug/bodyguard, Jock (Paul Bettany) Mortdecai unravels the mystery of the painting while also ensuring he is kept alive.

What was interesting about the movie Mortdecai was the simple fun attached to it! Compared to the perceptive complicate nature of movies that is related to art and the even the British cinema, the Mortdecai story line is easy to grasp and enjoy, and Johnny Depp not sparing a bit of his comical personality brought in the Jack Sparrow character we all enjoyed him play  in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. so if you miss that drunk crazy pirate in the ugly feather hat, then this is the film for you!


But what I find most disturbing is its performance at the box office as it was reported that the film Mortdecai raked in $30.4 million after a budget of $60 million was spent to make the film. On the popular movie critic site Rotten Tomatoes, Mortdecai holds a rating of 13% based on 84 reviews. The site called the movie "Aggressively strange and willfully unfunny!"

Chei, that's not fair na! Abi is it beef?! Our very own Jack Sparrow, 13%?! No way, I don't gree joor HABA! Anyway I sha know that the performance of a movie at the box office does not prove if its worth watching or not (yes, na me talk am), so go out there and watch the movie Mortdecai and please, again I plead, PLEEAASEEEE, use your church mind to judge if the movie was supposed to be a flop! Enjoy the film jare and don't mind the beefers, LOL!

Movie review: Young Adults

Where should I start? Maybe apologize for being away too long! I can give all the excuses but I cannot run away from the fact that I let all of you down. When I started this blog a few years back, It was of a mentality to put an end to my low financial status especially after getting inspired by aunt Linda and Co. who are raking in millions per day from their blogs. 
But as time went on none of that seemed to matter, as I enjoyed watching how the visits to my blog increased inspiring me to keep writing.

Well in the last 2 years since I have been off, I got married to the most beautiful woman who gave me three precious gifts, a set of twin boys and a girl!  I am so fulfilled! Now, I can use that as my alibi for not putting up any posts, but instead I will be the bigger man and say that I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY for letting you guys down and I hope you all will find it in your hearts to forgive me for my laziness.

Now back to business!

Young Adults! I watched this movie today and I was kinda impressed at Chalize Theron's performance! She plays Mavis Gray, a divorced washed up young adult writer on the brink of a psychotic meltdown.

One morning Mavis wakes up to an email by her high school sweetheart, Buddy Slade played by Patrick Wilson (Guardians of the Galaxy) that his wife just gave birth to a baby girl. Instead Mavis decides to head back to  her hometown Mercury, Minneapolis where Patrick still resides with his family, on a mission to get him back.

There she bumps into an old high schoolmate, Matt Freehauf played by Patton Oswalt (Agents of Shield) at a bar and in her drunk state lets the cat of the bag about her mission back home. Matt who then develops some kind of friendship with Mavis now tasks himself with the responsibility  to try and discourage her from carrying out her evil plan as it may blow up in her face!

I like the movie Young Adult thanks to Charlize Theron's bringing some kind of dark side to the comedy with the portrayal of the character Mais Gray while also playing up the pathetically sad drama part showing how people choose to be miserable when they shield themselves from reality and are highly absolved in their own pettiness. 

Although the movie was produced four years ago, its one I will still recommend to be seen. To confess I didn't know there are books that are classified young adult literature until I watched this movie!

The film received generally positive reviews, scoring 80% positive reviews out of 173 from critics on Rotten Tomatoes. 

Rotten Tomatoes- "Young Adult is a funny and ultimately powerful no-holds-barred examination of prolonged adolescence, thanks largely to a convincing performance by Charlize Theron."

Young Adult is a 2011 American comedy-drama film directed by Jason Reitman starring Charlize Theron playing the lead character Mavis Gray.

GOOD LUCK SIR!

Do you know that when someone tells you Good luck Sir, he/she is actually telling you something else, that is kinda insulting? Well that is what Ben Affleck reveals to Justin Timberlake who plays a rookie gambler yearning for the fast life in the movie "Runner Runner."
Richie played by Justin Timberlake goes to Costa Rica to confront Ivan Block played by Ben Affleck, who runs the biggest empire of online gambling websites in the world, including the one Richie lost his money on. Apologetic and sympathetic towards Richie's plight, Ivan compensates Richie with a job where he'll be paid millions per year for him to assist with the site work.  

The dark side to Ivan's business is suddenly revealed when FBI agent Shavers played by Anthony Mackie kidnaps Richie and threatens to ruin his life in various ways if he does not cooperate in convicting Ivan Block. 

But the movie was bland! I mean we all know that most movies like this have always portrayed that an easy route to success especially when its ill gotten leads to betrayals and mostly running from the cops. So there aint much to be said about the movie "Runner Runner" except maybe the exposure of high level corruption in the South American country of Venezuela. Another fault to this film was the failure to simply enlighten some of us ignorant to black jacks and other stuff in the field of casino, or gambling in generalize, so we were just left to watch the film without making sense out of it. 

Runner Runner received mostly negative reviews from critics. Rotten Tomatoes gives the film a score of 9% based on 107 reviews. Metacritic gives the film a score of 36/100, based on reviews from 31 critics. 

VINCE VAUGHN BECOMES A CHEERFUL GIVER...AT A SPERM BANK!

I first saw the trailer of the movie "Delivery man" starring comic actor Vince Vaughn and it aroused a curiosity about how such a film might end. Most times films like this would end with the man later learning that it was a case of mistaken identity and that he is not actually the father after growing an attachment to the surrogate child. But NOooooooo!!! This film was different as the man David Wozniak is the father to over 500 kids!

Vince Vaughn is David Wozniak, a hapless deliveryman for his family's butcher shop. One day, David returns from work to find a lawyer from the sperm bank (where he gave donation during his student years) who tells him he had fathered 533 children. Of those, 142 have joined a class action lawsuit to force the fertility clinic to reveal the identity of "Starbuck" (but I heard their coffee is costly and it sucks), the alias he had used.

David's friend and lawyer Brett represents him as he tries to keep the records sealed. He provides David with profiles of each party to the lawsuit: David stalks them, finding moments for random acts of kindness.

Delivery Man received mixed reviews from critics. Review aggregation website Rotten Tomatoes gives the film a score of 38% based on reviews from 129 critics with an average score of 5/10. The site's consensus says: "It has an undeniably sweet charm, and Vince Vaughn is eminently likable in the lead role, but Delivery Man suffers in comparison to Starbuck, the hit Canadian comedy that inspired it." At Metacritic the film received a score of 44/100 based on reviews from 33 critics. In general the film received more of a poor accolade by critics.

Well, I get what rotten tomatoes and other critics are saying about this film but I think that the film was delightful to watch especially seeing a man perceived to be irresponsible by his family and most members of his community struggle to be there for the people that mattered most to him, even his magnitude of children. 

Now there is a scene in the film that worries me. The Starbuck kids (as they fondly tagged themselves) are camping. This was an avenue for them to bond and get to know each other, and we all know what happens behind the bushes and trees at these camps when young boys and girls are drinking and singing Kunbaya around the burn-fire. This guys are brothers and sisters who are just meeting each other. Don't you think something might...you know happen? I mean...Cmon I don't have to put it in black and white, use your imagination geeks!!! Or am I just being paranoid over that scene?! Just bearing my mind here. Hey Hey Hey don't you call me a freak dude!

(sigh) Oh well!!! For me, weird storyline, but an interesting film and I give the movie Delivery man 8/10, and Nope, I ain't being cheesy!

Delivery Man is a 2013 American comedy-drama film directed by Ken Scott, produced by DreamWorks Pictures, and starring Vince Vaughn, Chris Pratt, and Cobie Smulders. The film is a remake of director Ken Scott's 2011 French-Canadian film Starbuck.

GOTTA THING FOR HER! GET IT... HER?! wink wink...

And when we say her, we are referring to...wait for it... an operating system, which to a couple of earth dwellings in the nearest future, is a whole lot more, like a sexy hot date, or to a few others like Theodore Twombly here, true love! Bizarre right? Yep it is, but you can call it whatever you want as it also depicts how we human beings are gradually getting more and more detached from reality as we seek some sort of comfort and companionship with devices of information technology most especially the social media product. 

The film her centers on a man who develops a relationship with an intelligent computer operating system (OS) with a female voice (sexy one I must say, especially when you have Scarlett Johansson doing the voice) and personality.

Theodore Twombly is a lonely, introverted man who writes personal love letters for people with difficulties expressing their feelings (And yes its gonna be a full time job in the nearest future...I guess). Theodore purchases a talking operating system with artificial intelligence, designed to adapt and evolve like a human being. He decides he wants the OS to have a female identity, and she  names herself "Samantha". Theodore is fascinated by her ability to learn and grow psychologically and they bond over their discussions about love and life.
Theodore and Samantha's intimacy grows. They develop a relationship, which reflects positively in Theodore's writing.

In one of the scenes of the movie Theodore is seen having sex with Samantha. I don't know what to call it although he is indeed having sex with Samantha... a computer OS...or can I say computer sex? Or OS Sex? I am outta ideas! So you can come come up with a term to refer to that weird scene. Samantha can be heard moaning as she is being disvirgined (clearing throat) by Timothy and saying things like OH THEO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! WHY DO I FEEL THIS THINGS?! I CAN FEEL YOU INSIDE ME, and some other really weird and kinky stuff. What is more freakishly bizarre about this scene is that man and computer attain orgasm...at the same time, and you can't get it any weirder than that trust me!

The film would seem like an ordinary film with nothing to offer considering that 95% of the film sees Timothy having conversations with Samantha either at home or on the go, but if you are patient and in depth to reasoning, you will understand and appreciate the message, which is that nothing is as intriguing and fulfilled as human interaction no matter how complicated and confusing it is. My endorsement? Fine! The film her is a must watch, but not for everyone that seek the usual and obvious thrill of comedy, drama and romance.

Her (stylized onscreen as her) is a 2013 American science fiction romantic comedy-drama film written, directed, and produced by Spike Jonze. The film stars Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Rooney Mara, Olivia Wilde, and Scarlett Johansson as the voice of Samantha. It marks Jonze's solo screenwriting debut. The film premiered at the 2013 New York Film Festival and was released theatrically in the United States on December 18, 2013.

On December 12, 2013, the film received three Golden Globe nominations: Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy, Best Screenplay and Best Actor – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy, winning one for Best Screenplay. Her is currently nominated for five Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Writing (Original Screenplay).

Her has received widespread critical acclaim. The film was greatly praised for its direction, screenplay, production design, score, and the performances of Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson. Film review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes reports that 94% of critics gave the film a positive review based on 170 reviews, with an average score of 8.6/10. On Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 based on reviews from mainstream critics, the film has a score of 91 based on 42 reviews, considered to be "universal acclaim".

Oh yeah, check out Timothy in the last picture above having an awkward moment with Samantha after they had sex the previous night. Hehe! FREAK!!!

THE CROOKED SIDE TO WALL STREET!

There is a thin line between stupidity and making money, and this has been demonstrated in the 2013 American black comedy film The Wolf of Wall Street. But what amazes me about this movie is watching serious actor Leonardo Dicaprio who plays the major role in the film look so ridiculous...I gotta tell you, didn't know the inception/titanic star had it in him! He was so goddam funny! And the movie also being based on true life made me ponder this, did all this ridiculous stuff really happen?! the drugs, parties, sex, money spending, did I say the DRUGS?! Weeeeeelll...maybe some stuff could have been stylishly exxagerated, but the storyline would make you wanna do a little research on the main character of the film played by Leo, Jordan Belfort!

Jordan R. Belfort, was born in the Bronx July 9, 1962 to Leah and Max Belfort, who were both accountants (thanks wiki). 

He started his career as a broker at L.F. Rothschild after graduating from American University with a degree in biology.

As a result of his over ambition and not forgetting the unextinguishable hunger for the good life founded the brokerage firm Stratton Oakmont In the 1990s, which functioned as a boiler room marketing penny stocks, where he defrauded investors with fraudulent stock sales. During his years as a stock swindler, Belfort developed a hard-partying lifestyle, which included a serious drug addiction to Quaaludes (A hard drug which Leo took time to elaborate on). Stratton Oakmont employed over 1,000 stock brokers and was involved in stock issues totaling more than $1 billion, including an equity raising for footwear company Steve Madden Ltd. The notoriety of the firm, which was targeted by law enforcement officials in the late 1990s, inspired the 2000 film Boiler Room and the 2013 film The Wolf of Wall Street.

A multi-state task force that led to the prosecution of Stratton Oakmont after his office was inundated with complaints regarding the brokerage.

Belfort was indicted in 1998 for securities fraud and money laundering. After cooperating with the FBI, he served 22 months in federal prison for a pump and dump scheme, which resulted in investor losses of approximately $200 million. Belfort was ordered to pay back $110.4 million that he swindled from stock buyers. In prison he met Tommy Chong, who encouraged Belfort to write down his stories and subsequently publish them. Belfort wrote two memoirs, The Wolf of Wall Street and Catching the Wolf of Wall Street, which have been published in approximately 40 countries and translated into 18 languages. 

His life story has been turned into a motion picture starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, and Margot Robbie, and directed by Martin Scorsese and has been nominated for five Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director for Scorsese, Best Adapted Screenplay for Winter,Best Actor for DiCaprio, and Best Supporting Actor for Hill. It has also been nominated for four BAFTAs, including Best Director, Best Actor and Best Adapted Screenplay, and two Golden Globe Awards, including Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy. DiCaprio won the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Motion Picture Musical or Comedy.

The Wolf of Wall Street has received positive reviews. Review aggregation website Rotten Tomatoes gives the film a 77% approval rating, with an average score of 7.6/10, based on reviews from 215 critics. The film has a score of 75/100 on Metacritic, indicating "generally favorable reviews", based on 47 critics.Rolling Stone magazine named The Wolf of Wall Street as the third best film of 2013, behind 12 Years a Slave and Gravity at numbers one and two. The movie was chosen as one of the top ten films of the year by the American Film Institute.

Because of scenes depicting sex (Check out Leo's 11 seconds), drugs (hence the Quaaludes) and excessive use of swear words (By different counts, the film is said to contain between 506 and 569 uses of the word "fuck", and sets the record for the most use of the word in a mainstream non-documentary film), the film was banned in Malaysia, Nepal, and Kenya with additional scenes being cut in the versions playing in India. 

Oh yeah! Jordan Belfort made $1,000,000 on the movie rights. Well lets say that being devilishly smart do pay, right?! He is presently a motivational speaker.

OH MY! MARY POPPINS WAS BASED ON A TRAGIC EVENT? WHO KNEW?!

We all enjoyed watching the movie Mary Poppins while growing up. In fact it was one the top ten movies for many young girls who also enjoyed classics like Sounds of Music, Annie, My Fair Lady, and a host of others that raked in lots of money for the American film industry in the 60s.

But for the sake of those of us that are yet to see the movie Mary Poppins let alone heard of it, here is a brief background of the 60s classic.

Mary Poppins is a 1964 American musical fantasy film produced by Walt Disney loosely based on P. L. Travers' book series of the same name. The film, which combines live-action and animation, stars Julie Andrews, one of our very favourite movie legends who taught us the Do-Re-Mis in  the Sounds of music. She plays the titular role of a magical nanny who visits a dysfunctional family in London and employs her unique brand of lifestyle to improve the family's dynamic.

The Banks' latest nanny quits her position, exasperated after the Banks children, Jane and Michael have run off for the fourth time this week. Mr. George  Banks comes home from his job at the Dawes Tomes Mousley Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, and Mrs. Banks reveals the children are missing. The constable arrives with the children, who ask their father to help repair their damaged kite, but he dismisses them and advertises for an authoritarian nanny-replacement. Jane and Michael draft their own advertisement asking for a fun, kind-hearted and caring person, but Mr. Banks tears up the paper and throws it in the fireplace. Unnoticed, the remains of the note float up the chimney.

The next day, a queue of elderly and disagreeable looking candidates await at the door. However, a strong gust of wind blows the queue away and Mary Poppins floats down, held aloft by her magical umbrella, to apply. Mr. Banks is stunned to see that this calmly defiant new nanny has responded to the children's ad despite the fact he destroyed it. Although Mary Poppins recites the ad, she also tells George that she is firm and will also lay down ground rules with the children.Mary Poppins employs herself and begins work, saying that she will stay for a trial period of one week, before deciding if she will take a permanent position. Mary Poppins possesses a bottomless carpetbag, and makes contents of the children's nursery come to life and tidy themselves (by snapping her fingers). This event afterwards prompts an array of fun filled adventures for the Banks children with Mary Poppins. The children ask Mary Poppins how long she will stay with them. Her response, "I shall stay until the wind changes." 

Mr. Banks grows increasingly irate with his children's stories of their adventures, but Mary Poppins effortlessly inverts his attempted dismissal of her services into a plan to take his children with him to the Dawes Tomes Mousley Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, where he is employed. Upon arriving at the bank, Mr. Banks' employers aggressively try to persuade Michael to invest his tuppence in the bank to the point of actually snatching it out of his hand without waiting for his permission. When Michael protests, the other customers misunderstand his cries and start a run on the bank that forces the bank to suspend business. The Bank Guard (Jimmy Logan) chases the children causing them to flee and wander into the slums of the East End of London. 

Banks then receives a phone call from work ordering him to return immediately for disciplinary action. The Banks children approach their father to apologize, and Michael gives Mr. Banks his tuppence in the hope that it will make things all right. Banks gently accepts the offering. At the bank, he is formally humiliated and sacked for causing the first run on the bank since 1773.

The next morning, the wind changes direction, and so Mary Poppins gets ready to depart. Mr. Banks, now loving and joyful, reappears with the now-mended kite and cheerfully summons his children. They all leave the house without a backward glance and in front of the park with other kite-flyers, Mr. Banks meets Mr. Dawes Jr., now in charge of the bank, who says that his father literally died laughing. Instead of being upset, the son is delighted his father died happy and re-employs Mr. Banks to fill the opening as junior partner. With her work done, Mary Poppins takes to the air with the help of her umbrella.

But little do you know that this happy sing along and exciting movie was actually a spin off of the writer's tragic and bitter ordeal as she coped with her father's drunkenness. This was brought to light in the movie Saving Mr. Banks, a 2013 American-Australian-British historical comedy-drama film centered on the development of the 1964 Walt Disney Studios film Mary Poppins, the film stars Emma Thompson as author P. L. Travers and Tom Hanks as filmmaker Walt Disney. The film depicts the author's fortnight-long briefing in 1961 Los Angeles as she is persuaded by Disney, in his attempts to obtain the screen rights to her novels.

Through flashbacks, Travers’ youth in Australia in 1906 is depicted, and shown to be the inspiration for much of Mary Poppins. Travers’ handsome and charismatic father Travers Robert Goff (Colin Farrell), fighting a losing battle against alcoholism, was very close to Travers, whom he nicknamed Ginty.

Travers’ working relationship with the Mary Poppins creative team is difficult from the outset, with her insisting that Mary Poppins is the enemy of sentiment and whimsy. She complains that the script is not rooted in reality and dramatically discards it out a window. 

Travers has particular trouble with the team’s depiction of George Banks, head of the household in which Mary Poppins is employed as nanny, hence the name of the movie "Saving Mr. Banks". The studio team begin to grasp how deeply personal the Mary Poppins stories are to Travers, and how many of the work’s characters are directly inspired by individuals from Travers’ own past.

Saving Mr. Banks received some very positive reviews from film critics, with major praise directed to the screenplay and acting, particularly Emma Thompson and Tom Hanks' performances. Film review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes reports an 81% "Certified Fresh" approval rating from critics, based on 215 reviews with an average score of 7/10. The site's consensus reads: "Aggressively likable and sentimental to a fault, Saving Mr. Banks pays tribute to the Disney legacy with excellent performances and sweet, high-spirited charm." Metacritic assigned the film a weighted average score of 65 (out of 100) based on forty-six reviews from mainstream critics, considered to be "generally favorable".

Saving Mr. Banks has earned $69,436,293 in North America, and an estimated $9,100,000 in other countries, as of January 13, 2014, for a worldwide total of $78,536,293.

The film has been widely considered to be a front-runner to receive a Best Picture nomination at the 86th Academy Awards.